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Be your own Sun

Dear M Let me tell you a story... In a not so distant past,  children were taught to love others, adjust for others in order to be 'good'. While, following this invisible yet sacred value, they somehow lost the sense of 'self', it was almost a sacrilege thought to be doing what you want as it treaded on the line of being selfish and self-centred. This entire generation, almost most of them, lost themselves in the process. This was your grandparents' generation and girls, by the time they grew into adults, they mastered this value. Then came your mom, she too was sort of brought up with this thought process, except that she was also told to stand for herself when needed while trying not to hurt other people's feelings. Now is that always really possible? In this great conundrum of balancing my thoughts and views while being mindful of others' feelings, has exhausted me. Hence, this letter to you from someone who tries to balance on a thin rope withou...
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Vasudhev Kutumbakam

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‘The world is one family.’ Is my school’s motto and as a child, I wondered what it really meant? 30 years later, the answer revealed. After settling down, I joined a gym and met a few ladies there, one with whom I had an interesting conversation with: Lady: Where is your home? Me: Bedfordview Lady: (slightly confused) Are you South African?  Me: No, I am from India. Came here because of husband’s job. Lady: So, your home is in India Me: (gave her a confused smile) my home is here, now (I guess) Isn’t the phrase, ‘Home is where the heart is’ , pertinent? My heart is where my husband and child are. I was born and raised in Delhi—yet, I never felt like a complete Dilliwallah due to the Bengali environment I was brought up in, which sometimes clashed with the Delhi culture. So, what defines home ?  Expat life, I guess, is all about breaking the notion of permanence and creating your ‘home’ wherever you land. This idea of starting from scratch is arduou...
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Metamorphosing

Life was simple, straightforward. Wake up, get dressed for the office, spend an eventful day at work, come back home, exercise, spend time with friends and husband, sleep. Repeat. Gurgaon was the best phase of our lives as we enjoyed with our close friends, tried new cuisines and matched our calendars to decide our vacations. 2017 changed it all---as someone said, change is the only constant . A baby in our lives that transformed our lives as we obsessed over his sleep, food, and poop patterns. To top it all came the news of moving. Boy, was it overwhelming! But carrying on with the spirit of embracing it, we packed up our house and belongings and landed in Johannesburg on July 29. Thrown right in the middle of it, I juggled and struggled! It was blitzkrieg—this change. As I scampered to manage M’s erratic sleep schedule, cook meals (thank god for the internet and recipes available), I sunk within. Wasn’t expat life lavish, where things were done for you? I missed Maya (my h...
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Wanderlust in South Africa

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"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Two and a half years ago, as I was getting my head around motherhood (two days post-delivery), my husband cruised in with a twinkle in his eye, and excitement he could barely contain despite being usually controlled. He broke into a spontaneous jig, "Waka Waka, it's time for Africa."I knew instantly what it meant--we were embarking on an expat life! How exciting and scary. The first thought that popped into my head was, "how will I manage the baby and my sanity without work?" Well, we knew it would happen someday, but this soon was unexpected! 2017 was a year of firsts-- baby, and moving to a new country- South Africa. A huge dose of change for the otherwise 'planned' me! From the land of Gandhi to the goldmine of Madiba... Destiny smiles at us! Two years on, the exploring carries on. South Africa has been great, finding 'family' in friends, the warmth of the locals and genera...
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